“Let’s face it. Sometimes as parents we are exhausted, frustrated, and confused.”
Maren Schmidt is a certified Montessori teacher with the Association Montessori Internationale (AMI) and holds a Masters in Education from Loyola College in Maryland, as well as a BA from the University of Arkansas at Little Rock in Interpersonal and Organizational Communications. Maren founded a Montessori school and has over thirty years experience working with children. Maren chatted with the Montessori Post about her latest publication, 7 Parenting Problems You Can Avoid.
What is your professional background? Over the course of my life, I’ve had many jobs. After college, I took a job as a personnel manager for Kelly Services, as I had worked for them during college as temporary help during breaks and summers.
My undergraduate degree was in Interpersonal and Organizational Communication and when my daughters were both in elementary school I considered getting a masters in that area. When I had an interview at the university, I drove around for almost two hours trying to find a parking spot. Not being able to find a parking spot, I thought it might be a sign I should do something else.
How did you come to Montessori? As I say, I came in through the backdoor to Montessori work. When my oldest daughter was about a year old, I saw one of those tear-the-phone-number-off posts on the bulletin board at my health food store. “Montessori School needs creative cook.” I called and got the job and over the course of the next couple of years, I cooked at the school while my daughter was in the infant/toddler class. I became the PTA president and worked on the school auction.
I took me another five years to be persuaded to get my Montessori elementary training.
What previous books have you written, and what do they address? My first book was Understanding Montessori: A Guide for Parents, published in 2009 and 2019. In that book I wanted to help parents cut through all the myths of what Montessori is and isn’t, how to find schools with authentic Montessori programs, and to understand the basics of Montessori theory and practice.
Building Cathedrals Not Walls also published in late 2009 and is a compilation of 90 of my Kids Talk essays. With Building Cathedrals I hoped to help parents and teachers see that in our work with children we are building something much bigger than ourselves…that we are building humanity.
How did your complimentary downloadable guide, 7 Parenting Problems You Can Avoid, come about?
One of the ideas I try to show parents is to be prepared. There are certain problems most of us as parents share. If you know what those problems are, you might avoid them. When you can’t avoid problems, being prepared helps you see ways to bring the situation back into order.
At the time I wrote the guide I had just seen a list of “the ten biggest parenting problems”. Inspiration hit when I thought, “What if I could show parents how to avoid these problems? Wouldn’t that be cool.”
You mention in the book to give children a 5-minute warning or a visual cue to help with transitions. How have you seen parents embrace these techniques, and do you find that they are able to follow through? Sometimes when I’m out and about, say at a park, a restaurant, the store, I’ll see parents using techniques I teach. I have no idea if they’ve read one of my articles or not. But I’ve seen these techniques work over many years, not just for me, but for others.
My experience is once parents have success with following through, they are eager to try it again.
You mention certain ‘if you…I will…’ statements, and then for parents to do so without comment because actions speak louder than words. Can this be a challenge for some parents? Follow through is hard. We have to stop what we are doing and make our words and actions match.
Let’s face it. Sometimes (most of the time?) as parents we are exhausted, frustrated, and confused.
But when we follow through, our children learn quickly that what we say means something, and that our words are not just sounds coming out of our mouths.
As I say, we have to walk our talk. When we say, “Blocks are for building. If you throw the blocks again, I will have to put them away for rest of the day”, we have to follow through with what we’ve said. We can do so without saying a word. Gather the blocks, put them away, ignore the protests and cries. If you have to say anything perhaps it is, “You need to find something else to do. Tomorrow we will try blocks again.”
The next day we can bring the blocks back out and simply ask, “What can you do with the blocks?”
My experience is that the child will likely respond, “Build.”
If not, perhaps the blocks need to wait a bit longer.
You mention that sleep is just as important to parents as it is to their children. What other ways can parents care for themselves so that they can better care for their children? One of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is “sharpen the saw”.
We need to take care of ourselves, first, if we are to take care of anybody else.
As parents, we can get so wrapped up in taking care of children, our careers, etc. that we neglect our own pillars of health—sleep, nutrition, and exercise. We may neglect our relationships with our spouse, friends and family.
It’s important to schedule date time with your spouse and friends.
When our daughters where in preschool my husband and I had a set date every Saturday from 1 to 5 pm. We had our babysitters scheduled in advance. With my friends, we would find time to have breakfast after I dropped the girls at preschool.
Sleep, nutrition, exercise and strong relationships need time, and they are essential to your health. Put it on the calendar so you’ll do it!
What other projects are you doing currently? Right now I am busy working on a new series of online workshops, Leadership Essentials.
Teaching leadership skills goes back a long way with me, at least since I was a Girl Scout Leader.
As I read the news and problems our world has today, I see a leadership problem. We need effective leaders. The wonderful thing is that leadership skills can be learned. And I’m teaching as fast as I can!
What have you learned in writing your latest title? Working on Leadership Essentials has helped me appreciate the many excellent leaders I’ve had in my life. They helped me realize my goals faster with more joy.
On the other hand, I realize that I’ve learned a lot from ineffective leaders, too. They showed me what to avoid, and that is valuable.
What is next for you? A year ago I would have told you I wouldn’t be taking on any new projects, but the Leadership Essentials project sprouted out a friend’s request to create a beginning leadership program for his company of about 150 people. His request was that it had to be easy to use and implement, so I created an email course, Managing Oneself, based on the Peter Drucker title of the same name. The added benefit is my Kids Talk readers can take this complimentary course, too!
How can readers find you online? You can find me at MarenSchmidt.com where you’ll find my workshops, newsletters and blog.
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